From Grief, Depression, or Illness to Positivity & Healing

March 4, 2009

MY Story

Filed under: MY Story of Grief — by Sue @ 7:54 pm

Hi everyone,

I lost my mum on June 10, 2007. She had breast cancer 16 years ago, when I was 15 years old and had a mastectomy. She went through chemo then went into remission. My family moved to Scotland in October 1998 (with me staying here) and she found out in November 1999 that she had leukemia. They say that the type of chemotherapy she was on at the time for the breast cancer caused the leukemia. She was in hospital for 6 months and finally went into remission for that. In November 2006 she found out she had myelodysplasia (pre-leukemia). The doctors told her that any “cold” she gets she has to treat aggresively because she basically had no immune system. The doctors couldn’t figure out since she already had leukemia, what did this mean? She was going to the hopsital once a month to get a pint of blood transfused into her. I went to Scotland May 26th for a week to visit them and she had a bit of a cough. She went to the doctors on Monday the 28th and they gave her antibiotics, saying if the fever she had got any worse, to go to the hospital. She went to the hospital on May 30th and was told she’d be in for a couple of days to get iv antibiotics. I flew back home on the Sunday, with her still being in the hospital. I got a call on the Wednesday that she’d taken a turn for the worse and there was nothing more they could do except keep her comfortable. My sister told her that I was flying back out. The doctors told my family on the Thursday morning it was only a matter of hours as she’d slipped into a coma. I flew out on the Friday night (it was the quickest flight I could get) and I got there Saturday afternoon. She passed away Sunday June 10th @ 1:47am with me there holding her hand. the doctors believe the only reason she fought was cause she knew I was coming and I would want to say goodbye.

I thought there was an upside to this story (if there could ever be one) – After 5 years of my husband and I trying to get pregnant – I did, at the beginning of June 2008- the one year anniversairy of my mum’s death. I was ecstatic. My mum passed away June 10, 2007 so I thought this was her final gift to me, as she always wanted to be a grandmother. As of September 11 (what a great date already), I lost my precious gift.

The only comfort I’m taking is that my mum has the grandchild she always wanted and that I now have two angels watching over me.

I know everything happens for a reason. I know there is sunshine at the end of this rainstorm, but it sure doesn’t feel like it right now.


1 Comment »

  1. Hi Sue — what a beautiful and brave idea for a blog after all you have been through! You are right, everything happens for a reason, even though sometimes it takes awhile for us to find it. I feel certain you are well on your way. Thank you so much for sharing your story and thoughts. I will be cheering for you!

    Comment by kimberlyfoley — March 4, 2009 @ 10:57 pm |Reply

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