From Grief, Depression, or Illness to Positivity & Healing

June 9, 2009

It takes time………

Filed under: Grief Info — by Sue @ 12:47 pm

THIS IS A PARAGRAPH OR TWO OUT OF ONE OF THE GRIEF BOOKS I READ AFTER LOSING MY MUM. I FOUND MYSELF GOING TO BACK TO IT AFTER LOSING MY BABY – WE ALL NEED REMINDERS THAT IT’S OK TO GRIEVE.

Because it’s an appropriate response to loss, grief is not a bad word! Neither is it a sign of weakness, nor does it represent a lack of religious faith. Grief isn’t something to avoid at all costs and “get over” as quickly as possible. It isn’t better to feel joy than to feel grief. It is certainly more fun to feel joy – but it isn’t better. If something good is happening, it is appropriate to be joyful. If you have experienced loss, it is equally appropriate to be sad.

If you have had a major loss, you already know that well meaning friends will reward you if you can keep from crying in public. You will be told how strong you are and how “well” you are doing. The problem is, not crying is an inappropriate behaviour that can put you at great risk of physical and emotional illness. Anyone who wants you to hold your grief in check is seeking their own comfort – not yours.

To heal properly, you must express your sadness freely and for as long as it takes to release it. Many polls and studies have asked the public: “How long should it take to mourn the death of a loved one?” – The most common answer is between 48 hours – 2 weeks. In truth, we have barely started grieving in that length of time. Research by Dr. Glen Davidson, a pioneer in analyzing the bereavement process, revealed it takes almost 2 years, at least, to begin returning to a normal life after a major loss.

DIETS, Bo. Life After Loss – 4th Edition – 2004;page 6

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